Seriously? Abortion EMPOWERS Women?

The commentary below is on ABORTION.  If you choose to read my message, and you disagree with me, please keep in mind that it is good to know others’ views of topics, especially if they are contrary to your own.  However, since this is my blog, and you have come to my page to read my commentary, please know that if you disagree, get angry, or want to leave disparaging comments, then you should simply leave the page.  I ask you to respect my page and my views.  While I do encourage open discussion in my life with those who oppose my views, this is not the place for open discussion.  This is where I come to post MY beliefs about the world based on MY convictions.

I typically do not start conversations with people about abortion; however, as a Christian with convictions on the topic, if the discussion comes up, I do not curb my viewpoint.  I am polite and forthright, non-judging to whether they have had an abortion before or not (after all, only God can judge them for their choices), but I have questions for those who I engage in conversations about abortion, and these questions often go unanswered since the respondents typically do not like where the questions lead...to the idea of selfishness.

Once upon a time…yes it is like a fair-tale’s beginning…

Once upon a time there was respect for the sanctity of life, the beauty of virginity, and the virtue of waiting to have sex until marriage.  There have always been those who chose to go astray, those who were led astray, or those who were not informed of the benefits of NOT going astray.  No matter if you believe in God and His commands or whether you believe in your parents’ power over you, that you have to follow your parents’ rules while under their roof, the same lesson has been true for thousands of years…it is best to not sleep with someone before a committed marriage due to diseases, emotional hurt, pregnancy, and altering your view on sex.

No matter what parents, teachers, and even children may believe about having sex and the ramifications to be had, pregnancy occurs.  When it does, there have always been three options: raise the child, give the child away, or kill the child.  Even though, historically, these three scenarios played out very differently depending on your class, family dynamics, and religion, today, the abortion of the child is often the first choice for young unmarried females.  Abortion is legal in the United States.  The 1960s brought with it much change and one of the alterations was when the Federal government over-ruled local, state laws to make abortion legal.  Tom Head, a Civil Liberties Expert writes:

During the 1960s and early 1970s, U.S. states began to repeal their bans on abortion. In Roe v. Wade (1973), the U.S. Supreme Court stated that abortion bans were unconstitutional in every state, legalizing abortion throughout the United States.

For those who believe that human personhood begins during the early stages of pregnancy, the Supreme Court's decision and the state law repeals that preceded it may seem horrific, cold, and barbaric. And it is very easy to find quotes from some pro-choicers who are completely unconcerned about the bioethical dimensions of even third-trimester abortions, or who have a callous disregard for the plight of women who do not want to have abortions, but are forced to do so for economic reasons.

As a member of the pro-choice movement, I have committed to the idea that abortion should be legal. But even I have doubts, significant doubts, about where my movement is sometimes headed.  (about.com)

The abortion issue is heated, emotional, and tragic.  Those who support pro-choice options are struggling with the way that these ‘options’ (i.e. ways to ‘get rid of’ the baby inside the mother) play out and the question of tearing a baby to pieces to vacuum it out of the mother has received some direct criticism and media coverage in recent years.

I will never profess that I was perfect in the area of sexual relations, but I will admit that I am opposed to abortion and have never had one myself.  At different times in my life, I was a child who chose to go astray, at other times, I was naïvely led astray, and there were even times when I made poor choices because I was not properly informed, which led to confusion and, yes, once again, going astray.  I do not claim to be perfect.  I do not claim to have never faltered in this area; however, what I do claim is that the choices I have made and the choices that others have made—that I have intertwined myself with—I have learned from and lived with.

Paul, the Apostle of Jesus Christ, writes in 1^st Corinthians about the principles of marriage, based on lustful longings, desires and passions:

8Now to the unmarried and widows I say this: It is good for them to remain unmarried, as I am.9But if they cannot control themselves, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion (1 Corinthians 7:8-9).

There would be a drastic reduction in abortions if people followed this wise suggestion by Paul.  If you cannot control your sexual desires, then marry.  At least then you are committing to the family life that will surely be produced from the sexual encounters.  Oh, but your children are thinking about sex earlier and earlier.  Children are longing for these sexual encounters sooner and sooner.  Parents do not want their 10 year olds getting married, and so they MUST speak to them; be honest.  When parents speak to their children about the trappings of pre-marital sex and the emotional, physical, and life-altering changes that can occur, it emboldens the children to make correct sexual choices, talk to their parents, and when poor choices are made, turn to the family for help and support.

Parents seem to be discussing sex with their children, but the discussions are not as in-depth and honest enough to get the true knowledge and support that they need.  In October, 2011, Planned Parenthood wrote an article stating:

Eighty-two percent of parents have talked to their children about topics related to sexuality, according to a new poll released today.  However, when it comes to tougher, more complicated topics, many adolescents are not getting the support they need to delay sex and prevent pregnancy. 

Planned Parenthood is not a group that I support; however, this statistic does show that parents are doing the talking, but the talking is extremely superficial, thus leading to the high number of sexual ramifications that we see in youth today.  Advocates for Youth declare that “Parents need to understand the critical importance of discussing sexuality with young people. Discussing condoms prior to first sexual intercourse doesn't "give kids permission" to have sex; it gives them permission to behave responsibly.”  While most people would agree with the statement that “Parents need to understand the critical importance of discussing sexuality with young people,” the second declaration is so fallacious that it should make you cringe: “Discussing condoms prior to first sexual intercourse doesn't "give kids permission" to have sex; it gives them permission to behave responsibly”.  

Permission is being given, then.  Children are being given permission to “behave responsibly”.  They are being given permission to behave responsibly, which means that sex can be had as long as you use a contraceptive.  The idea that pregnancy prevention through contraceptives is not giving “…kids permission" to have sex; it gives them permission to behave responsibly,” is nonsense.  If children were behaving responsibly, they would not need contraceptives.  The responsible thing to do is to abstain, but abstinence is not being pushed in the public schools as much as disease and pregnancy prevention through contraceptives.  The premise here is that children are going to do it any way, and so we might as well make it so that there are less lingering effects from the encounter.  No.  This is incorrect.  When children aren’t being taught that sex is a beautiful and precious act that needs to be saved for within the confines of marriage, they do not respect the power of the sexual act.  They see it as a past-time, something to be cool, something to experience to make them feel older. 

When it comes to sexual education, abstinence, and abortion problems, there is also the issue of missing father- and mother-figures.  When parents are working so much outside of the home, whether for financial gain, service to the community, or personal interests, children are disconnected from those who should be influencing them the most: their parents.  Children often desire to get out of their parents’ house, be on their own, choose someone to love them the way they think they should be loved, and so sexual relations often occur when children are unhappy and disconnected at home.  They long for this special connection to someone, and sex—whether protected sex or not—fills this need, even if only temporarily.  To further add insult to injury, these young sexual encounters often include conversations such as “If you really loved me we wouldn’t have to use a condom.”  When a child is longing for this loving connection to someone, is seeking it in another child, and is under the impression that this contraceptive weakens the union, what you have is children having unprotected sex.  Given enough time, or the right time of the cycle, a pregnancy will occur, leading us back to the idea of abortion and what it does or does not do for women of this world.

Ilyse Hogue spoke at the Democratic National Convention this week in support of Hillary Clinton over Donald Trump.  The fact that this woman uses such platitudes to make 

 (Please takea moment to listen to her words about abortion, but also note how her eyes showjust how untrue her happiness is over her previous abortion.) 

abortion not only acceptable, but the correct choice for women if they are going to allow themselves not to be held back by the inconvenience of a baby, yet empowered by their decision to take their lives in a different direction, is utterly appalling. 

SERIOUSLY? ...empowering women to live their own lives..."?

This is what the ABORTION ARGUMENT has come to represent? One life is more important than another because the woman wants to be empowered to live her life the way she wants—without the inconvenience of taking responsibility for a poorly made decision? How about living life morally, ethically, and raising your children to make wise choices, and when they do not—as we ALL know we have NOT always made the best choices ourselves—you then help your children learn, grow, and mature through those rough, hard choices.  Raise your children to NOT get pregnant when it '...is not convenient..." and if they do make a bad choice and get pregnant, then be the parent YOU should be...SUPPORT and LOVE your child through this life-changing event, and SUPPORT and LOVE your grandchild as he makes his way to the next phase of his life.

This is not about 'empowering women". This is about taking responsibility for your actions, and not killing off a baby because it is an inconvenient time in the woman's life. Families need to be there for those girls who get pregnant when it is 'inconvenient,' whether financially inconvenient, emotionally inconvenient, scholastically inconvenient, or relationally inconvenient.

It does not even matter whether the pregnancy developed due to a decision to sleep with someone voluntarily or if someone pushed himself on her, resulting in a rape or incest pregnancy; there is a life waiting to learn and grow from these mistakes, making the next generation more aware and possibly wiser.  It is pleasantly surprising to note that “in the only major study of pregnant rape victims ever done, Dr. Sandra Mahkorn found that 75 to 85 percent chose against abortion.[1] This evidence alone should cause people to pause and reflect on the presumption that abortion is wanted or even best for sexual assault victims” (qtd in Reardon).  Being one who supports LIFE is not about saying that the mother HAS to keep the child herself; however, it is about giving the child a chance. 

It is appalling how our country has manipulated the idea of abortion as being the first choice a woman should consider.  It is not out of empowerment that women consider abortion.  Embarrassment…shame…fear…selfishness…these things prompt thoughts of abortion.  However, adoption is certainly a viable option for a woman who finds herself pregnant and does not feel compelled to raise the child herself. 

Once again, we are faced with the blackness of selfishness.  It is a deep and lonely hole to live in.  The embarrassment, shame, fear, and selfishness is not always that of the pregnant girl, though.  There are often authority figures in a pregnant girl’s life who coerce her into abortion:

…Edith Young, a 12-year-old victim of incest impregnated by her stepfather, writes twenty-five years after the abortion of her child: "Throughout the years I have been depressed, suicidal, furious, outraged, lonely, and have felt a sense of loss... The abortion which was to 'be in my best interest' just has not been. As far as I can tell, it only 'saved their reputations,' 'solved their problems,' and 'allowed their lives to go merrily on.'... My daughter, how I miss her so. I miss her regardless of the reason for her conception” (Reardon).

Nonetheless, if a woman goes through an incest or rape-pregnancy with a baby, gives birth, and has not been able to see the child as a separate event from the rape, then she has every opportunity to adopt it out. When you are dealing with young girls who get abortions, you have to question who is really pushing for the abortion, and what is the purpose of a nation having abortions be legal, especially when there are so many loving couples who would treasure a new-born to teach, grow with, and love.  

As a Christian who has been raised in the Church, been part of various denominations, and has traveled across the United States and overseas, experiencing churches of all types, I have never visited a church that provides an open and welcoming alternative to the women under their care (and even to those outside the Church) to adopt out their unwanted babies to church goers.  It has long been a dream of mine to see such a ministry awaken in the Church.  As Christians, we should extend grace to those who make mistakes.  If church members who desired adoption were to be on a list of possible adoptees for girls to turn custody of their children over to, then babies’ lives would be saved, Christian families would love and support the child from its first breath, and the mother would be free to move on with her life, knowing that she made the best out of a situation that she erred into.

How is an abortion empowering women? Every woman I have spoken to who has had an abortion in the past—and some have had more than one—has had a lingering emotional scar from that decision and process. Oh what they would give to go back, commit to 9-months of being pregnant, to be able to give the child up for adoption with a loving family, rather than to have murdered the baby.  This is not empowerment.  This is a shackle of loss and regret for the mother and a death sentence for the child. Reardon states, “that many women report that their abortions felt like a degrading and brutal form of medical rape”.  Knowing this, there should be no family or government to ever encourage an act that negatively effects the mother and destroys the child. 

So my long ramblings lead me back to the issue of selfishness.  We are all born selfish.  We have to be trained to put others before ourselves, to look out for the weak, to not profit at the demise of others. 

When I have entered into conversations with people about abortion, all of my questions lead back to this idea: selfishness.  It is not about legal or illegal.  It is about right and wrong.  It is about living with mistakes, looking out for the weak, and maturing as a person through life’s experiences.  Abortion of a child can easily be labeled as selfish act.  However, it cannot easily be labeled as empowering.  Just because a woman who has an abortion is acting in a selfish manner, at the expense of another’s life, this does not mean that the woman who aborts the child does not feel remorse.  The point is that her selfishness took over and she protected herself instead of her unborn child.  As a Christian, this goes against the primary teachings in the Bible: Love the Lord your God with your whole heart, body, and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself.  Against this there can be no law.  Jesus gave of Himself; he was the furthest thing from selfish.  Please think about these things the next time you have to make a choice on a political candidate, the next time you are asked your view on abortion, or the next time you encounter a young, pregnant girl.  Life is precious.  Abortion is selfish. 

Works Cited

Advocates for Youth. "Are Parents and Teens Talking about Sex?" Advocates for Youth:

Rights. Respect. Responsibility. Advocates for Youth, 2008. Web. 28 July

2016 <http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/parents/136?task=view>.

Biblos. "1 Corinthians 7:9 But If They Cannot Control Themselves, They Should Marry,

for It Is Better to Marry than to Burn with Passion." 1 Corinthians 7:9 But If They

Cannot Control Themselves, They Should Marry, for It Is Better to Marry than to

Burn with Passion. Bible Hub, 2016. Web. 28 July 2016 <http://biblehub.com/

1_corinthians/7-9.htm>.

Mahkorn, "Pregnancy and Sexual Assault," The Psychological Aspects of Abortion, eds.

Mall & Watts, (Washington, D.C., University Publications of America, 1979) 55-

69.

McCormack, John. "DNC Speaker Shouts Her Abortion and the Crowd Cheers."Weekly

Standard. The Weekly Standard, 2016. Web. 28 July 2016 <http://

www.weeklystandard.com/dnc-speaker-shouts-her-abortion-and-the-

crowd-cheers/article/2003531#.V5oIiSkOW8R.facebook>.

Planned Parenthood Federation of America. "New Poll: Parents Are Talking With Their

Kids About Sex but Often Not Tackling Harder Issues :: Planned

Parenthood." New Poll: Parents Are Talking With Their Kids About Sex but Often

Not Tackling Harder Issues :: Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood

Federation of America, 17 Oct. 2011. Web. 28 July 2016 <https://

www.plannedparenthood.org/about-us/newsroom/press-releases/

new-poll-parents-talking-their-kids-about-sex-often-not-tackling-harder-

issues>.

Reardon, David C. quotes in “Rape, Incest, and Abortion: Searching Beyond the Myths,”

Francke, The Ambivalence of Abortion (New York: Random House, 1978) 84-95,

167.; Reardon, Aborted Women - Silent No More (Chicago: Loyola University

Press, 1987), 51, 126. Web 28 July 2016 <http://www.abortionfacts.com/

reardon/rape-incest-and-abortion-searching-beyond-the-myths#2>.